That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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