Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
