I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize