you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
