dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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