i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
