How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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