Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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