over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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