Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
