after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
