if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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