Don't you send me to vm
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
