At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
