these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
