Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
