Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
