Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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