Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
