I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
