for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
