yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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