I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
