you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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