Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
