i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
