You're so nebulous sometimes
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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