is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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