Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
