The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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