hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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