With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
