watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
