I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
