i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
