fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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