yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
