He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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