Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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