yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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