i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
