I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
