i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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