even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
