her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
