Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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