went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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