I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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