Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize