I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
