how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
