i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
