dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
