I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she told me i tasted like america
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
