blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
