This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
