Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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