She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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