We won't sleep together?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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