i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
