i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
