Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This is my gift to your gina
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
