so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
