He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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