If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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