Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
