I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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